“God, these sand dunes sure are a workout! I wish they’d build roads out here.”
“Yeah, but then you’d have truckloads of bros coming out here to the beach every weekend to litter the whole area with spent fireworks and Budweiser cans.”
“…and Fox Racing hats.”
“…worn backwards.”
“Well, if we hear any Kid Rock and loud whooping, we’ll know someone let them out of their gyms and sports bars.”
“I’ve got animal control on speed dial just in case.”
“Right? Interesting fact about sand dunes: they’re called ‘dead dunes’ when they have vegetation, and ‘living dunes’ when they don’t.”
“Eh?”
“It sounds backwards… but it’s because grasses and shrubs and trees and stuff have roots that hold the sand in place so it can’t drift anymore. The dunes that don’t have any plant growth are free to move with the winds, so they are considered alive.”
“I think I remember hearing that somewhere, actually.”
“Probably the same place I heard it – on that boring tour we went on during our vacation to Silver Lake.”
“Oh yeah! Remember how the guide said that the dunes where slowly moving into the lake and would eventually fill it up, and then later that day mom was scooping up sand from the beach and dumping it on the dune because she thought it would help?”
“Yeah I remember that. That was a weird time. I was like fifteen and felt way too old to be dragged along on a family vacation.”
“I don’t think you, me, or Gabe actually wanted to be there. Mom and dad never asked us what we wanted to do – they just did whatever they wanted and then got butthurt when we hated it and made fun of it.”
“Story of our childhood I suppose.”
“Hm.”
“At least we learned the difference between living dunes and dead dunes. It always struck me as philosophical somehow. I wonder what Gabe would have to say about that – I’m sure he’d have some deep spiritual insight.”
“We’ll have to ask him this afternoon.”
“He’ll probably say something like: ‘That’s actually what the ancient Sumerians believed! I’m reading a book about it right now! I even have a crystal that channels their energy!’”
“Not just a crystal – hundreds of crystals.”
“Oh my god dude, when we shared an apartment he would get packages in the mail literally every day with different rocks and crystals for his spiritual studies.”
“I know! Every time I hung out in his room he’d have a couple more organizers – all filled with rocks and just stacked all around his room!”
“He definitely went all out with that stuff. But we used to have super deep conversations about life and philosophy. He was just way out there – like, the books he would read had titles like ‘The Cosmic Self and the Illusion of Life’ or something like that!”
“Didn’t he go to some kind of school of mysticism or something?”
“I don’t think so. He was planning to but didn’t have enough money. After I moved out he struggled financially and could never afford to go.”
“That sucks. Hey what time is he supposed to arrive?”
“I think he had some kind of surgery this morning, so it will depend on when the doctors let him go.”
“What? I didn’t know he had a surgery. What kind of surgery?”
“Hell if I know.”
“Hm. I guess neither of us have talked to him in a while.”
“I reached out to him that night he lost his house in the flood, but never got a hold of him.”
“Man, that was like ten years ago. Haven’t you tried to talk to him since?”
“I tried getting in touch with him a few times, but you know how the reception is where he lives.”
“Do you think he’s mad at you or something?”
“Probably. But not as mad as he is at you.”
“Really? You really think he’s still mad at me?”
“Maybe. He used to tell me that he’d never forgive you for leaving the way you did. He didn’t talk about you much after that.”
“If I could go back and do things differently I would.”
“I know. I wasn’t there for him either, to be honest. You remember how impulsive he used to be?”
“Well yeah, everything he did was impulsive.”
“He called me up one day totally out of the blue and said he was thinking of flying down to visit. Like, that following week.”
“Yeah that sounds like something he would do.”
“Yeah well I was overwhelmed with work and school at that time, plus I was broke and depressed. I told him I wasn’t going to say no, but that if he came we wouldn’t really have much time to hang out. Told him he’d basically be sitting alone in the apartment the whole time. I said that if we waited until the following summer it would work out much better schedule wise.”
“So what happened?”
“He didn’t come. In hindsight I think he was going through something heavy. I think he needed support, or maybe just a friend… I don’t know. But I couldn’t set my damn issues aside long enough to just be there for him. We never did hang out after that.”
“Well, at least you were still around. I hate that I wasn’t a part of his life. He and I used to be so close.”
“He went through a lot of hard times since either of us saw him. First he got fired from the job he had. That was already after I had left though. I guess his PTSD kept getting worse until he just couldn’t work. The last few years he had some kind of cancer too. I’ll bet that surgery today was related to it.”
“Damn, so neither of us were really able to help him. I sort of hoped you had been able to after I left.”
“No… not really. He was pretty bitter after you left, and then when I left it only made things worse. Someone told me later that he said he wished he could have come with us. I suppose it’s normal to want your older brothers to stick around when you’re young.”
“Well… I’m just looking forward to finally seeing him again!”
“Me too! It’s been so many years! We’ll have to give him a hard time for taking so long!”
“Ahem: ‘Sorry Gabe, but we got tired of waiting for you to come see us, so we picked a random homeless guy to be your stand in and named him Gabe. You’ll have to fight him to earn back your little brother title.’”
“Be careful though – he’s still homeless so he fights with broken bottles and used needles!”
“Maybe they can just have their beards fight each other.”
“Oh that beard! He definitely had the crazy beard going. Remember the funeral we went to and each of us had beards and we lined up for a photo and it was like ‘the three stages of beard’?”
“On the left we have the trimmed and stylish beard, next the long and regal beard, and finally, the beard most favored by wild mountain men.”
“So where did he say he was going to meet us anyway?”
“Um, well he isn’t actually expecting us. I kind of wanted to surprise him.”
“Ah. I haven’t been out this way before, so I wasn’t sure how we’d find him.”
“What? You’ve been here before haven’t you?”
“Nope, never.”
“But didn’t you go when Aunt Rose died?”
“Who?”
“Aunt Rose. Remember, she was the one who died in that awful car accident a few years back – the whole family was in shock.”
“Oh yeah. Nah, I didn’t go – too much drama. Besides, I never really knew her that well, so I stayed behind. I thought you went.”
“No, I stayed home because I thought you went!”
“Well aren’t we just a couple of rascals.”
“A veritable pair of rascallions.”
“Isn’t it pronounced ‘rapscallions’?”
“Maybe. But then wouldn’t it be ‘rapscal’ instead of ‘rascal’?
“Hmm… such as rapscally thing to say.”
“Anyway… I’m not sure how Gabe is getting here, so we’ll just have to keep our eyes open.”
“Well, I can hear the ocean waves so unless he’s coming by jet ski I think we made a wrong turn somewhere.”
“Eh, we’ll find him.”
“We should have brought a sled. Would have saved us time going down these steep dunes.”
“Yeah. Do you think he’ll be surprised to see us?”
“Oh definitely.”
“Think he’ll be mad?”
“Probably?”
“Hmm… well, he’ll just have to get over it. Or I’ll kick his butt!”
“As long as he doesn’t hold it against us for making him walk over all these dunes straight out of surgery.”
“I have a feeling he’ll forgive us for that. He said he wanted to come with us after all. Honestly, I just can’t wait to see him again!”
“Same. There’s the beach up ahead.“
“Well shucks. I figured he’d be here by now to be honest, but – hey, do you hear that noise?”
“Yeah. Kinda sounds like someone left a car door open with the keys still in the ignition.”
“It sounds like it’s coming from the beach. Wanna take a detour and see what it is?”
“Alright, but if I hear any Kid Rock I’m calling the possum catcher.”
“Hey, I think I see it! Looks like something washed up on the beach. What the hell is that thing?”
“It’s not a car. Looks like some kind of weird table.”
“Hmm, it does, doesn’t it… stupid beach bros.”
“Uh, I think that’s an operating table actually. That noise must be an EKG flatline.”
“Weird. You know it almost looks like… holy crap, there’s an old man laying on it!”
“Super weird. I don’t think that’s a beach bro –”
“Damn, he’s out cold and soaking wet – here, help me roll him over!
“Well what do you know…”
“This is crazy! Hey wake up! Wake up, man!”
“…wha – ?”
“Dude, I can’t believe you brought the whole operating table with you! That’s amazing!”
“Way cooler than that lame steering wheel Aunt Rose brought back with her.”
“I know, right?!”
“…but you’re –”
“It’s been a while, huh? We were wondering when you’d finally get here. Your surgeons must have put up one hell of a fight!”
“How did you –?”
“Me and Andy came to pick you up! We’ve really missed you, dude. You aren’t still mad at us, are you?”
“Oh god… oh my god… Mikey?? Andy??”
“It’s okay, Gabe. It’s all over. You can come with us now.”
Nihil Admirari 